There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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