u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
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She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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