All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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