I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
