I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize