omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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