I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
