im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
