I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
