i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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