Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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