The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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