she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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