I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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