The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
