I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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