Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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