Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I cut my penus on the lid.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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