News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
