in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize