i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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