hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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