Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
