I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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