It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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