So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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