I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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