he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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