I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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