I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
