maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
