Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
