I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
birth control should be required to get into college
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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