its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
