Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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