my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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