Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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