you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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