he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
