I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
