Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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