It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
