you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
