Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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