AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
