The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
