I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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