please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
These tits shall not be calmed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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