a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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