I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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