It's Friday. Sex?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
