it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part