We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
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She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am