Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me