Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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