worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?