your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have poison ivy on my dick
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.