Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
