You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
