Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
