we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
