Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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