If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
