she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need to sanitize my soul.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
