He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
