I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize