I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
